Better to forget
by Fee4444
Summary: When the team are called back to JJ's home town on a case JJ is forced to reveal her traumatic past that she had tried desperately to forget. Bad summary, Bad title, first time writing in months. T for safety.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: You really think I own this? Ok well…I don't.**

JJ rolled over to her ringing phone with haste. Dragging it dejectedly she answered and pulled it to her ear. Her eyes glanced over the clock. It read two thirty am. She groaned. Henry had woken up twice throughout the night, twelve and half one am, screaming about a nightmare. He had been having trouble with them recently. After the second one she had told him he could sleep in her and Will's bed-just this once. She hung up the phone, dropping back to the pillow for a blissed few seconds of peace. There was a case, as always, and she had to call the rest of the team. She hated having to wake them up too but it sounded important.

"What was that about?" Will mumbled, turning towards her. He knew exactly what it was, he always did. Every time she got a midnight call he would pretend like it was an unusual occurrence.

And she would pretend as well. "We got a case."

She slipped out of bed, taking her phone and a towel into the en suite. Before using the shower she called everyone one by one. Garcia first as always and Rossi last. Spencer seemed to take it better than anyone else and she appreciated it. He would always pick up groggily with 'We've got a case?' and after it got confirmed they would hang up. Emily generally was the worst. She never took it personally it was just Emily was hell when she was first wakened, especially in the middle of the night.

Letting the water heat up first she climbed into the shower letting the hot water wash down her. Hopefully it would be a quick case, no more than a few days and then she could come home to her husband and son. Unfortunately it rarely worked like that. They would no doubt lose another victim before they caught the killer and another family would be absolutely distraught. That was their job though. She could have stayed in the pentagon but she wouldn't be helping anyone. That was just life though, wasn't it?

JJ reached for the door fifteen minutes later. It would take her about seven minutes to get to the office, another five perhaps to meet the team. She was on good timing.

"Mummy," Henry whispered from the bottom of the stairs rubbing his eyes. "Are you going away again?"

She turned around. "Just for a little while sweetie. I'll be back before you know it. I love you."

"I love you too." When she knelt down he trotted up to her and gave her a tight hug. One arm was stroking his back, the other clutching his head. She didn't want to leave him.

"Back to bed now sweetie."

Henry was half way up the stairs before he stopped, looked over his shoulder and smiled at her. She smiled back. That was her baby, her little boy. He meant everything to her and one day he would fully understand what she did and how much it meant to people. Tonight though, he would only know that his mummy almost left without saying goodbye.

Emily had arrived first, Spencer coming in four minutes later, then Rossi and then Derek. Hotch, as if he never left the office, was there before anyone else. Derek watched Emily drinking her coffee like a zombie. He just laughed and caught her death glare. He should have known it was too early to catch this train.

"What?" She grumbled.

"I bet that's your second cup of coffee this morning and it's what,"-he checked the clock-"three am?"

"Third actually," He could see she was about to rise to the unintentional bait. "And if you want I can through it in your face."

"Ooh, I'm scared," he laughed again.

Before she could reply JJ swept in, dropping miserably onto a seat beside Spencer. She was not in the mood for work, especially not where they were going.

"Wow Jayje you look worse than Emily," Emily ignored the retort from Derek with just a quick glare.

"What's wrong?" She was concerned and it was nice she could pull herself out of her exhaustion.

She just sighed. Garcia came in all big smiles and eccentricity. The second she saw JJ she halted. "What's happened, now don't lie to me!"

JJ let out an overdramatic sigh of exasperation. She didn't want to explain herself. She had woken up half an hour ago, left her son and husband and was forced to go home to a place she would rather forget. Hotch, ever the rescuer, came in just in time to save her from inquisitive federal agents. Everyone turned to Hotch, Reid holding his gaze on JJ for a few more moments than the others.

"We've got a case in Pennsylvania, JJ's home town," He added for further reference before quickly continuing. "Three girls dead, the first Olivia Taylor, twenty three."-Olivia Taylor popped up on screen. She had curly ginger hair and blue eyes. From her crime scene photo they could see to just what extent her attacker had abused her. "She was hit in the back with a baseball bat, taken into the woods and raped repeatedly before being stabbed in the stomach six times. Two second graders found her."-He clicked the remote to move onto the next girl. A younger girl came up with straight black hair and bright blue eyes. "Lisa James, seventeen, same M.O., taken on her way home from school."-Once more he clicked the remote to show another girl, brown hair and blue eyes-"Elizabeth Johnston, twenty five, same M.O."

"Well there's obviously a pattern," Dereck chimed in.

"All the girls have blue eyes, similar build," Spencer added. "They have reasonably similar facial features, different hair colour."

"Maybe it doesn't matter," Rossi said.

"There is a week between each abduction. The first two were kept for twenty four hours, Elizabeth was kept for thirty six hours. There were deep lacerations on her thighs and whip lashes on her back, all within the last twelve hours of her capture."

"He's advancing," Dereck rolled his eyes. "We need to get down there, fast."

"Agreed," Hotch nodded, "We have four days before the next abduction."

**Ok this is just the introduction. Please leave a review and let me know if I should scrap it or whatever. Thanks.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Just a heads up, I won't call sweets candy but I will do my best to call football soccer. If I miss it once or twice please don't comment, it is an accident. **

**Disclaimer: Still own nothing**

JJ had been unusually quiet throughout the trip. They were almost half way through their flight. She sat playing with her sister's necklace while looking through the window, absorbed in unwanted thoughts of her hometown. She was aware of Spencer's eyes on her but she did her best to ignore it. Derek and Emily were participating in their playful spats that they always had while Rossi and Hotch played chess. They had begun their initial profile but now had time to spare.

"So, going back to your hometown must be exciting, huh?" Spencer tried to engage her. "How long since you were there last?"

It took a while for her to reply, trying not to look at him. "About six years."

Spencer paused for a second. "That was before Henry was born."

"Yep," She nodded slowly, still looking out the window.

The rest of the team glanced at the two youngest agents. JJ wasn't usually the quiet one sitting in the corner refusing to give more than a few word answers. Before they even arrived they were worried. Sometimes it was hard to keep with the rules of no inner team profiling.

"Did you know any of the victims?" He continued. He wanted to know what was wrong with her. She was his best friend.

"Nope." If he asked her anything else she would crack and begin yelling at him. She didn't want that. Not only would she hurt him they would know something was wrong. She couldn't have that. Her secrets meant to much to her. JJ jumped up. "Coffee anyone?"

When she passed the team each shared concerned glances. This wasn't their JJ. In all fairness though, Spencer thought, they were going to perhaps be diving into her personal life. Despite how close they were, none of them would want their long dead secrets revealed. That just raised more questions. What secrets was she too scared to reveal? 

They entered the police station, Hotch first and JJ shuffling at the back. Obviously she didn't want to be there. The sheriff came forward to greet them, a polite smile on his face. He was obviously quite old, balding and a bit plump. He was everything JJ had remembered.

"I'm Sheriff Daniel McKay," He shook Hotch's hand.

"Hi, I am SSA Aaron Hotchner," He accepted the handshake and turned to the team, "Doctor Spencer Reid, SSA Derek Morgan, SSA Emily Prentiss, SSA David Rossi and SSA Jenifer Jareau."

The sheriff did a double take on JJ. "Jenifer, Sarah Jareau's baby sister?"

Slowly, sadly she nodded, "Yeah."

"You probably don't remember me," He hadn't realized how much pain he had just caused her. All she ever was to these people was the dead girl's sister. "I drove Sarah home all the time before she…um…"

He trailed off awkwardly, looking away. She could feel the team's eyes on her as she shrank back a little bit. She remembered the Sheriff. He was good to her right up until Sarah's suicide. She decided to salvage the meeting.

"No, I remember but we're here to help," She bit her lip, not wanting to draw unnecessary attention to her home life.

"Right, off course," He stepped back a little to let them in. "You want to talk to the witnesses, right?"-When he got a yes from Hotch he continued-"A couple of boys found Olivia, David Porter and Tate Nicolson. I don't think they'll do you much use, they're a bit shaken up. Lisa was found by a couple of my men looking for more evidence. We had nothing and we were just hoping…"-He cut himself off-"Jenifer, you're father found Elizabeth."

JJ shut her eyes and let out a long breath. She was hoping, knowing she couldn't, but hoping she wouldn't have to talk to her father. They had grown apart since her sister's death and she didn't want to have to play on the fragile relationship.

"Right well, Prentiss, Reid, go down and see Mr Jareau. Morgan, JJ got to the first crime scene, Rossi and I will go to the second." Hotch told them before asking the sheriff for assistance at the scenes. Within five minutes they were on their ways. 

Emily and Spencer got out of the car, looking up at the big house before them. It was grander than they would have thought but did not seem pompous in the quiet neighborhood. The path that led up to the house was perfectly weeded with flower beds going up either side. It felt almost surreal. Emily knocked on the door. The sound seemed to echo around them. It was then it hit her. There were no children playing, no busying adults, nothing. There was no noise on this desolate street. Mr Jareau came to the door only half a minute later.

"FBI agents Prentiss and Reid, we have some questions for you," Emily said.

He let them come in, offering them a seat in the living room and said he would be back in a minute. The two looked around the spacious living room. What caught Reid's eye was the book shelf. There were three pictures on the top shelf. The one to the left was JJ when she was around sixteen holding a soccer ball under one arm and a medal in the other, beaming, as if her whole life had led up to that moment. The one to the right was Sarah, blonde hair swept up in a ponytail and her blue eyes sparkling. She looked remarkably similar to JJ, the two pictures taken around the same age, they almost looked like twins. The one in the middle was when JJ was about nine and Sarah fifteen. JJ was dressed as Wednesday from the Addams family, Sarah was Morticia, the two standing in the characters' signature poses. Behind them were two beautifully carved pumpkins and a mountain of sweets.

"Sweet family," Spencer commented, Emily nodded in agreement.

"We were," Mr Jareau told them sadly, sitting down on his favourite chair, folding his hands on his stomach. "Until Sarah left. Niffy was never the same after that, I suppose none of us were."

"Niffy?" Spencer asked, sitting across from him, "Do you mean Jenifer?"

He smiled solemnly. "She never did forgive me for Sarah's passing."

**I hope to be updating more frequently. If anyone wants anything to happen at any point please PM me and I will see what I can do. Thanks for reading and REVIEW :) **


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